Hi Beautiful Soul, I hope you’ve been taking great care of yourself.
In today’s Love Note, I wanted to bring up the topic of self-sacrifice and bring some awareness around where self-sacrificing tendencies may stem from.
It’s an important because over-giving while suppressing our own needs can prevent us from experiencing true fulfillment in our relationships with others, and our relationship with ourselves.
If we have self-sacrificing tendencies, they may show up in all of our relationships. Or it may be that they only show up in romantic relationships, or perhaps only with our children, or only with our bosses, etc.
Perhaps you can relate to the same limiting belief that I once had that… in order to show love, or to be loved in this relationship, I must be willing to sacrifice my: emotional needs, skills, time, talents and/or resources.
Somewhere along the way (most-likely from childhood) we adopted this belief.
Perhaps we adopted it as a coping mechanism due to trauma. Or perhaps we learned the notion that “self-sacrifice is a virtue” from a religious upbringing, or perhaps it was modeled to us (or demanded of us) by a parent.
Of course we want to be emotional pillars for our loved ones, offering a listening ear, empathy, and support.
While emotional support is essential, constantly suppressing our own emotions and needs to cater to others limits our own fulfillment in relationships.
Or we may find ourselves unevenly taking on all the household responsibilities and childcare responsibilities, or taking responsibility for our partner’s business or personal issues, on top of our career workload.
This can leave little, or no time for self-care and personal pursuits, leading to chronic stress and overall diminished well-being.
It’s important for us to understand that self-preservation is not selfish. In fact, it’s an act of self-love and self-respect.
As we prioritize our own needs, dreams, and desires, we actually elevate the lives of others as well, because we can then bring our happiest selves, our most-fulfilled selves to the table.
And everyone benefits from having the happiest, most fulfilled version of you in their lives.