Did you know that no one can make you happy like you can make yourself happy? No one knows you as well as you know yourself, your likes, your dislikes, what relaxes you, what brings you joy, how to take care of your health and wellness. No one knows YOU like you do.
Yet so many of us have been taught to put our needs last on our list. As women, we’ve been conditioned to put every one else above our ourselves. This may have been taught to us by our parents, our peers, our religion, etc. But however it came into our internal wiring, somehow we’ve come to believe that putting ourselves first is selfish.
It’s this fear of selfishness that causes us to put our own needs on the back burner in our lives. And this is to our disadvantage as well as to the disadvantage of everyone around us.
When we over-give to others, without first giving to ourselves, we can become depleted of our vital energy. With none left over to take care of ourselves, we aren’t able to show up for ourselves or others with our full energy, much less full of joy and happiness.
Learning to put ourselves first, prioritizing our own needs, above all others, has exponential benefits, including:
–> More respect from others, in life, at work, in your business and at home. Sacrificing your needs for others never gets you ahead and only increases the likelihood that you’ll be taken advantage of or seen as a door mat.
–> You’ll value yourself more. When you show value to yourself, by prioritizing your needs, others will value you too.
–> You’ll be happier in general because more of your needs are being met. You’ll make others in your life happier too, because your happiness has a positive effect on everyone around you.
–> Your confidence increases.
–> You get more out of what you want in life, because your energy will be in a better place versus when you’re putting yourself last and sacrificing yourself for others.
–> You’ll have less resentment towards the ones you love since you won’t rely on them to try to meet your needs (by the way, they can’t and shouldn’t anyway).
These are just some of the incredible benefits you’ll realize when you put yourself first in your life.
So how are some way you can put this into practice? Below are just a few examples:
Saying no to going to social activities when you just don’t feel like it.
Asking your partner take care of helping the kids with their homework after dinner so you can hit your favorite yoga class (and not feeling guilty about it – more about guilt to come in a later post).
Not getting coffee for folks at the office when you don’t want any yourself. This will actually gain you respect when you put your needs first – I have a personal story surrounding an office situation where I didn’t get coffee to meet the needs of higher ups in the office – teaser for more to come in my upcoming book!
Not taking on extra work at the office when you really don’t have time for it or it gets in the way of your self-care or other personal needs outside of work (trust me, this gets you no where other than more work – it certainly won’t get you promotions or raises).
Lending someone money when you could really use it yourself.
Side stepping toxic relationships that may be dragging you and your energy down. Don’t stay just to be nice and sacrifice yourself and your needs in the process. TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT IN THE END. It’s never easy to end a relationship, even a toxic one. But this is your life and your world. It takes a lot of courage. But you will thank yourself when you can finally feel at ease again. Once you’re out, you’ll wonder why it took you so long to do it! I’ve got a lot of experience when it comes to eliminating toxic relationships. This includes friends that weren’t really friends, close relatives, and even toxic jobs.
It’s very empowering to learn how to value yourself and take responsibility for your own happiness. That takes a strong self-love practice. And one step in that practice is prioritizing your needs.
You got this sister!