Did you know that relationships are a reflection of your relationship with yourself?
I thought I was one of those people who had done a good job at my self development work over the years…like I had it all figured out.
And then the universe brought a relationship into my life that served as a huge mirror for me and stirred everything up.
After our break up, I started to dive into the origins of my relationship problems with a relationship coach. What I thought was my personal strength all along, come to find out were my survival skills.
Who wants to survive I thought? I want to thrive!
So I decided to dig deeper, journal more, meditate, work with my coach, etc.
And what I found were that the things I thought needed changing in my partner were actually the things I actually needed to address in myself.
For example, for the longest time, I had such a strong belief that if my partner decided to actually work on himself and heal his childhood trauma, he’d find more peace and be a better person overall. It was such a strong feeling for me.
Come to find out, I needed to heal my own childhood trauma.
Previously if you had asked me if I needed to work on healing my childhood trauma, I would have said something like “I’m fine, I’m a strong person despite what I went through…I’m not a victim, I’ve survived and thrived!”
But, I had no idea all the limiting beliefs I’d formed from my traumatic childhood that was actually preventing me from really thriving…keeping me stuck in unhealthy, yet familiar patterns.
I had a whole lot of childhood trauma to go back and work on in order to uncover all the things I had to do in order to survive, which then became my unconscious operating system.
Who wants to live in survival mode!
I’m so thankful for having had the mirror held up for me so I could see myself. I realized I needed to work on putting my energy and attention onto my relationship with myself and work on myself.
Knowing this info, I can now better gage my relationship with myself by the reflection I see back when I’m dating or in a relationship. It’s really been a game changer!